@NYC_Blonde: My "snooze" button should just be called the "nope, no yoga today" button.
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@Rollmaninoz: my favorite part about fruit is when I run it under water for 3 seconds to convince myself it’s no longer covered in carcinogenic pesticides
@Alex_N_Chains: "After he ate the shrooms, Mario ate flowers and pretended he could shoot fireballs out of his hands." - Princess Peach, at Couples Therapy
@robfee: Dads in horror movies always have the most chill explanations. "Our son is covered in pentagrams!" Well maybe he's just allergic to dairy.