@jlock17: My son, 15, DOES NOT KNOW the name of the street we've lived on for 7 years. We are taking him to the vet to get micro-chipped.
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@JermHimselfish: Kids today will never know the horror that would come from seeing a payphone start ringing suddenly in the middle of the night.
@DelanieFischer: One of my favorite things about Walmart: the impulse buy is no longer a breathmint, it's an entire rotisserie chicken.
@Playing_Dad: [Rappers job interview] Boss: What is your biggest weakness? Me: My rhyme game is weak. I can't speak. I'm a geek. Birds have feathers.
@johnbiehl: Me: this a rush song? Bartender: yeah, you a fan? Me: does this answer your questions? *lifts shirt to reveal giant tattoo that says "no"*