@SlabBaconBP: My son asked me what humble means. I told him it means pretending you're not better than everybody else.
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@AlexvanBeek: Being a bigger account doesn't make you a better person. We're all terrible people. We're on twitter. I threw a baby at a fox this morning.
@nayele18: Can't afford those fancy water parks, so I just throw cups of water in my kids faces when they least expect it.
@TurnpikeTony: I really don't get Astrology but I just hope my daughter stays a Virgo until she's at least 18.
@robfee: (At a funeral) Im so sorry for your loss. I know how it feels to lose something you love. Last year Taylor Swift took her music off Spotify.