@LurkAtHomeMom: My son asked what it was like to be a parent so I begged him to make me chicken nuggets and then held on to his leg so he couldn't move.
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@ericsshadow: ME: OMG I CAN'T BREATHE I ATE WAY TOO MUCH CALL A DOCTOR HER: do you want dessert? ME: ok, but just a small slice.
@Overdue_Bills: Sorry Windows. The only thing a "strong" password will do is lock me out of my own computer when drunk. 1234 it is.
@QwertyJones3: Um, doctor? This degree on your wall is from Whatsamatta U. I don't think that's a... Doctor: *looking at x-rays* MY GOD! YOU HAVE NO SKIN!
@QwertyJones3: Doctor: "Just lie back and relax, I'll start the lasik eye procedure in a moment." *Turns on laser* *Patient's face is attacked by cats*