@LurkAtHomeMom: My son asked what it was like to be a parent so I begged him to make me chicken nuggets and then held on to his leg so he couldn't move.
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@aka_fatman: "I have a hard time with faces. One time I mistook a wolf for my dead grandmother LOL!" - Little Red Riding Hood, talking to a coat rack.
@GABBYdaAngSaya: [Watching 101 Dalmatians with a cute girl] Hold up, hold up. Pause it, please. Thanks. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,
@CelebrityChez: If it could be arranged, I would like to die by being waterboarded by a soft serve ice cream machine.