@LurkAtHomeMom: My son asked what it was like to be a parent so I begged him to make me chicken nuggets and then held on to his leg so he couldn't move.
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@AmericanGent69: Me: *seductively spreading peanut butter on my chest Sir, you’re going to have to leave. Me: *reluctantly gets off treadmill
@HatfieldAnne: I will continue putting this peanut butter on the wrong side of each saltine until my demands are met.
@joshesjames: Tomorrow is Jesus' birthday. I got him an Xbox. Keeping it at my house until I see him.