@thatguyJA: My son ate all the marshmallows in the Lucky Charms and well guess who isn't paying for his college now.
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@AndyRichter: Imagine you know a guy named Gary, & Gary calls his car the Garymobile & insists that you do, too. What I'm saying is Batman is a douche
@Loli_Sug: Hospitals don't like it when you unplug things to charge your phone w/ out asking first
@sixthformpoet: A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius.