@SlabBaconBP: My son curses like I make love. He has no idea how to do it and someone usually yells at him and tells him to stop before he's finished.
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@capricecrane: Accidentally walked into the men's room so I just went ahead and used the urinal so it wouldn't be awkward for anyone.
@GrantTanaka: Went to an Air & Space museum today, nothing was in there. I asked "So what's the exhibit?" & the guy was like "You're breathing it, man."
@trojansauce: [meeting zac efron at a book signing six years after my wife said she thought he was handsome] well hello there mister home wrecker