@KateWhineHall: My son feels about broccoli the way I feel about having to make a phone call.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@juanadog: *kicks door down* *realizes its the wrong house* *leaves* *comes back with tool bag* *fixes door* *apologizes*
@sweetandweak: Daughter just told me, "Dad, I don't make sandwiches, I eat sandwiches." One day her picture will be on money.
@Donna_McCoy: I turn my phone off overnight. A 3am text either means bad news or drunk people, and both make more sense in the morning.
@iwearaonesie: Apparently the first thing you should say after you back over your wife's foot is "I'm sorry" not "I guess that means no sex tonight"