@Brianhopecomedy: My son has about 12 seconds to learn patience.
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@atamba_lakeli: My boyfriend recently called me his woman And now we're living in the jungle, wearing deer skin and hunting for food
@withanewname: [flash mob in front of me & my girl] [I join in then kneel down gasping] "Will you.." "YES!... YE.." "grab me a smoothie from Jamba Juice?"
@_Kim_Jongun: My latest missile blew up on the launch pad. But it exploded so fast Americav couldn't tell what type it was. I'm not telling. Checkmate.