@Brianhopecomedy: My son has about 12 seconds to learn patience.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@pourmecoffee: I hope 2016 doesn't get renewed. The plot is ridiculous and none of the characters are likable.
@notalogin: [2 Humans who definitely aren't lizard people at Denny's] 1: I sure am glad they don't have newt brain on the menu 2: Right on, fellow human
@SuSuSuDonym: If Paula Deen's new cookbook isn't titled 'Fifty Shades of Gravy', I'm going to lose a considerable amount of money on the bet I just made.
@TheBoydP: I'm not saying I spend a lot of time in the restroom, I'm just saying if you walk into my stall you can be charged with home invasion...