@mamatomy3: My son has stolen my iPad to play minecraft. Please retweet this so the notifications disrupt his playing.
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@IamEnidColeslaw: may your fathers prosper. may your friends be uglier than you. may your exes get food poisoning
@xysist: Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam's ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
@GlumGeorgeLucas: "The Force Awakens" had 0 people riding giant CGI lizards. How is that even science fiction? They might as well rename it "Downton Abbey."
@Marcmywords2: "You think I'm smart, right?" Not tonight baby, I'm too tired to fight. Annnd that's how the fight started.