@LucTabone: My son has the ability to predict what will happen in the future and later explain why it didn't happen. I think I'm raising a politician.
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@Travon: I'm opening a restaurant called "It doesn't matter, whatever you want" since every girl alive wants guys to take them there.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Can you hold my rubber ducky? Me: *takes the ducky* Why? 4: I dropped it in the toilet.
@_Mo_lee_: This guy next to me thinks I'm flirting, but really I'm just trying to see where he parks so I can steal his gas