@TheCiscoKidder: My son is at that tender age where he believes me when I say that the dog ate the rest of the cookies out of the pantry.
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@KyleMcDowell86: [Little Caesar's meeting] "We need a new, clever slogan" *everyone looks at Jim* Jim: Um... Pizza...Pizza? "Jim...U just saved this company"
@VerbsRProudest: Never underestimate mothers. They can turn "mayhem" into "ma'am" with one narrowed glance.
@causticbob: "He looks just like his grandfather" is a cute thing said about a new baby in most parts of the world. In Alabama,it's more of an accusation
@DrLickenstein: my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and i ate them because im a velociraptor disguised as a milkshake vendor lol owned