@ericsshadow: My son is so lazy he's went from playing video games on the computer to watching other people play video games on the computer.
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@khook32: My husband really loves our new couch. In fact, he loves it so much he called me his exwife's name just so he could sleep on it.
@dshack8: Me: Can u send me those documents? Coworker: Yes, but u can actually get them by-- Me: Nope, don't try teaching me to fish. Not interested.
@celestinelea90: *takes earrings out* *takes bracelet off* *slips out of shoes* *tears off jeans, shirt, bra* *shaves head* Ok Doc you can weigh me now