@ericsshadow: My son is so lazy he's went from playing video games on the computer to watching other people play video games on the computer.
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@markhoppus: Cinderella, but the Prince is searching for the maiden who matches the glass thigh gap.
@carlyken: Doctor: This patient needs exercise. Get him a walker. No that's a zombie I wanted a walk-oh I see what you did there, nurse [Everyone dies]
@LeviathanPride: Overheard this locker room convo: "The new school janitor is weird. He's always hiding in here when we're showering". I took my mop and left