@jonnysun: my son just asked me where do pizzas come from adn has yet to ask me where do babeys come from. thats my boy
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@grievre: 20 yr old me: dude holy shit you have to try ecstasy 30 yr old me: dude holy shit you have to try using properly sharpened kitchen knives
@slimmy_shady: Hey Pringles, It's time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn't exactly thin-wristed. Thank you!
@AnOrangeSNES: [Victora's Secret] Wife: You're the most supportive person I know. *A person made of bras walks by* Me: Um what about that guy?