@jonnysun: my son just asked me where do pizzas come from adn has yet to ask me where do babeys come from. thats my boy
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@rachelle_mandik: HIM: Hi, I'm Bill. ME: Hi, I'm...oh shit this is embarrassing. I'm not really good with names.
@TheNardvark: Walmart stopped selling hoverboards due to safety concerns. In case you were curious about those empty shelves between the guns and the ammo
@sozjalltheway: Just spent a nice relaxing hour on facebook, writing "you Two look fantastic!!" on all weekend selfies with three girls or more in it.
@JamieGreenlees: My GF left me because she said I lied about stupid things. I was so upset I ate a car park :(