@sara_ashlynn: My son just lost a tooth and wants money, not soy sauce packets this time.
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@KyleMcDowell86: *pulls fire alarm in apt building* *everyone runs outside* [Me on megaphone]IVE GATHERED U HERE B/C SOME OF U STILL HAVE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS UP
@sixfootcandy: Me: I heard the Herpes Virus is linked to Alzheimers. Pharmacist: True. Name please. Me: I have no idea.
@Mom_Overboard: *tumbles down basement stairs, laundry flying everywhere* Me: *whispers through pain* parkour...
@rickkondell: Apparently, if you stop to help an armored truck broke down on the side road, they'll mace and taser you. In that order.