@Elizasoul80: My son just said "I'm sorry I can't be cute right now, I'm hungry" and I've never understood him better.
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@CantWaitToNap: “I smell like candy,” I mouthed to the hot guy in traffic that caught me smelling my shirt.
@Playing_Dad: 6am. 4 runs into bedroom, jumps on bed repeatedly. "DADDY, DADDY, DADDY! WAKE UP! HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! WE'RE GOING TO LET YOU SLEEP IN!
@Ygrene: Me: my point is, if you remove the potatoes from potato salad you aren't left with salad Deli Manager: Me: so what else are you lying about
@iwearaonesie: A guy on TV opened a bag of chips and my dog came running into the living room thinking it was me so now she’s playing with a ball she found and is acting like that’s what she wanted all along