@Cheeseboy22: My son just told me he's changing his clock to military time so he can stay up later. He is not a smart boy.
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@underchilde: A jury of my peers would just be 12 people who hate that they had to get up before noon.
@shwebby2: British police don't carry guns. So what exactly do they do then? Yell "STOP... OR I'LL SAY STOP AGAIN!"
@ericsshadow: [talking to son on the phone] "I ran away 3 weeks. You never called the police" I'm sorry. We've been very busy with the holidays and all.
@ppppolls: 30% of Republican primary voters nationally say they support bombing Agrabah. Agrabah is the country from Aladdin. #NotTheOnion