@Cheeseboy22: My son just told me he's changing his clock to military time so he can stay up later. He is not a smart boy.
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@RickAaron: I made an appointment for laser hair removal then remembered that I don't have any laser hair.
@mellimelle: Just because I'm Irish doesn't mean I am always drunk. It means I always want to be.
@Rollmaninoz: *Shrek pre-production meeting* Producer: Do we have a name for the dragon yet Guy who named the donkey “Donkey”: I was thinking Dragon sir