@Cheeseboy22: My son just told me he's changing his clock to military time so he can stay up later. He is not a smart boy.
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@Evan_Hadfield: The most uncomfortable moment in my day is the time spent waiting in silence while someone searches for a 'funny' YouTube clip I *need* to see.
@notacroc: INTERVIEWER: what makes you different? ME: *begins levitating* INTERVIEWER: holy shit ME: *whispering to my pet chameleons* nice work guys
@AbbyHasIssues: No trip to Home Depot is complete without at least two more trips to Home Depot for what you didn't know you needed to buy the first time.
@UniqueDude2: ME: fine, judge me. judge me for loving too much, for caring too much- JUDGE: you're on trial for murder ME: for murdering too much