@Cheeseboy22: My son just told me he's changing his clock to military time so he can stay up later. He is not a smart boy.
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@Mr_Kapowski: My washer and dryer are doing this weird thing where they've started shrinking my clothes and adding stubborn fat around my midsection
@KalvinMacleod: Baby sharks can hunt for food as soon as they are born and my children cannot find their underwear drawer.
@goldengateblond: Wait til the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald's find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want.