@weirdralph: My son keeps running around naked, so I sprayed him with Windex. It's supposed to prevent streaking.
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@Sassafrantz: If you go to the zoo and he doesn't help you steal a monkey, he's not that into you.
@ArfMeasures: [after my murder] COP: Can u think why anyone would want to kill him? WIFE: Christ yes *starts Power Point presentation* Make yourself comfy
@Reverend_Scott: ????LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR ????LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR ????LET THE BODIES HIT THE- "Carl, you're fired. You're a horrible mortician."