@DadandBuried: My son LOVES dogs and is TERRIFIED of them. Which is EXACTLY how I feel about my WIFE.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ddsmidt: I want to be in a heavy metal band just so I can scream terrible things at crowds of people and not be accused of having PMS.
@roadkill3x: Don't waste your time going to the library looking for books on suicide..... no one ever brings them back.
@shita3yosays: Nice try "unknown" caller, but I don't answer when my family calls so what chance did you think you had?
@Reverend_Scott: Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Why didn't you text me? I'll never call you back. Like, ever. You'd have better luck with a telegram.