@DadandBuried: My son LOVES dogs and is TERRIFIED of them. Which is EXACTLY how I feel about my WIFE.
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@MariyaAlexander: "I'm liking where this is going" I said, pointing to a potato chip making its way toward my face.
@thatdutchperson: "You're not pretty enough. Now pay us $3.99 so we can tell you why." - Magazines
@primawesome: What's with these people who take a sip of their coffee as soon as they get it? Who are these iron-mouthed warriors?
@LoveNLunchmeat: upon my death: 1. tell my kids I loved them 2. give my daughter my jewelry 3. leave french fries in my coffin, just in case