@ericsshadow: My son ran away again, but it gets worse. He changed the wifi password before he left.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@nonchalantnacho: Sex with me is like a roller coaster. There's lots of screaming and sometimes people fly out and die.
@xLiserx: *Batman happily approaches Batmobile* Wife: Forget it, Bruce! We have two car seats & need to go to Costco. *Defeatedly gets in Batvan*
@iamspacegirl: KING SOLOMON: I shall cut it in two, half for each of you. WOMAN: sure ME: OH GOD NO! KING SOLOMON: ok this is clearly your meatball sub.
@zoeklar: my friend told me on first dates i should just "be myself" and "be confident" and i was like "ok but which one?"