@ericsshadow: My son ran away again, but it gets worse. He changed the wifi password before he left.
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@ParanoidParker: When you're in the shower, and you hear loud thumps and you think "THEY'RE KILLING MY FAMILY, AND I'LL HAVE TO FIGHT THE ATTACKER NAKED"
@karentozzi: Ten Ways To Tell If Your Kitchen Is Haunted: 1.) Flying forks 2.) Pre-fried eggs 3.) Fridge moaning/wailing 4-10.) Ghosts
@causticbob: What does a corpse and snow have in common? They are both cold and are hilarious to throw at unsuspecting children.