@ericsshadow: My son ran away again, but it gets worse. He changed the wifi password before he left.
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@joe_binkley: Chopped: College Edition. "In your mystery basket: Ramen Noodles, coffee, crippling debt, a worthless degree. Chefs, you have 30 minutes."
@oxygenplug: "we're out of bread" "ciabatta be kidding!" [waiter takes out gun] "make another bread pun and ur toast, pal... shit" [i take out my gun]
@TheBoydP: Of course I care about the environment. I spray air freshener every time I leave the restroom don't I?