@chopper4jk: My son wants to change his given Indian name, so I told Broken Condom he could change it if he really wants to. Kid's these days...
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@RegularFred: [Enter your password] Secret [Password must be 6 characters] Secrete [Password disgusting but accepted]
@ibid78: *angrily whispering over crib* "Sheila you know I was raised by wolves. I have to pay it forward." "But why do they need their own cribs?"
@WarrenHolstein: Could you imagine being the Secret Service agent that blocked a bullet for Donald Trump, 20 years later? You wouldn't tell anyone.