@Brianhopecomedy: My son went over to a friend's house & his Mom asked when we wanted him home. From her expression I think she was expecting a time, not day.
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@RunwayDan: The word "defenestration" means "to throw someone out a window." Which means this happens so often we needed a word for it.
@XplodingUnicorn: 6-year-old: *finds a picture she drew* Why was this in the trash? Me: 6: Me: It was too good. I didn't want to make your sisters jealous.
@Avepates: Sometimes I like to hysterically tell mall security that my infant son has gone missing just so I can show people baby pictures of myself.