@online_rat: my son wont get past his bridge troll phase. its a phase all children have, where they live under a bridge and rob people with a gun
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@OldUncleDaveO: If you are having anxiety over something you've said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
@QwertyJones3: Whenever my dachshund acts up I show him a pack of hotdogs in my fridge and he falls right back into line
@causticbob: A police man came up to me with a sniffer dog and said, "This dog tells me you're on drugs." "I'm on drugs? You're the one talking to dogs"