@UniqueDude2: my son would be amazed if I showed him a first generation iPod because we've never met
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@envydatropic: If a gym has 75 treadmills, 1 is being used, what do you do? You go home because it's your favorite one being used Math is easy
@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: Why do you want to work here? ME: *crumbs tumbling from my mouth* Oh, I don't. I was just walking by and saw you had donuts.
@LorieGZ: Mom: I called you bc I was watching a TV show & thought of you! Me: Ya? What show? My Mom (laughing): A show about Aliens! Very funny Mom!
@KeetPotato: [talking to my guide dog] this better be the hospital this time and not wimbledon again [from a nearby speaker] "FIFTEEN-LOVE"