@UniqueDude2: my son would be amazed if I showed him a first generation iPod because we've never met
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@electrolemon: yesterday at the mall a woman asked for my opinion between two men's shirts and immediately went to check out with the one i didn't choose
@internetluke: [calls up friend] Remember when you said I wouldn't ever make it on TV? Well turn on the news! "Okay, but why are you calling from jail?"
@ClickBaite: [CAVE] BABY DRAGON: Dad, I hate trolls! They are disgusting, evil creatures! DAD DRAGON: Just push them aside and eat your vegetables son.