@ProudFFAalumni: My son's taking French and my daughter is learning sign language and now I have no idea what anyone's talking about anymore.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: [spooky noise comes from my closet] monster under my bed: you heard that too right
@UnFitz: Maybe we'd still be in the Garden of Eden if Eve had given Adam an Android instead of an Apple. You don't know.
@Alexclaimer: *walks up to IKEA return counter *rips receipt into tiny pieces *tells the clerk to put it together himself
@jabba_jabba_jaw: Hug your children. Hug your friends and family. Hug the cashier at Chipotle. Hug someone else's children. Hug the arresting officer.