@tweetarded1: My soon to be ex-wife just told me I need to face my demons. nnWTF. I was looking right at her.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ch000ch: me: wtf how am i getting life in prison for running over an eagle with my car my lawyer: again, that was the Philadelphia Eagles mascot
@kumailn: "Bikini faux pas: are you guilty?" As a guy, it's very hard to imagine the bullshit that women are bombarded with.
@daplusk: I nod and smile at empty places just to confuse any ghosts that might be there into thinking i can see them.
@oakhillbargrill: Google just threw a drink in my face I deserved it I have no business asking those questions