@maybenotstef: My spirit animal died of neglect.
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@4boding: My weekly retreat is simple: driving alone down country roads for a couple of hours with tunes cranked up and singing loudly to livestock.
@x_xaima: When you go to the movies first thing you need to do is pour a drink in the seat in front of you so nobody can sit there..
@RoosterMustache: I hate when my phone corrects "hood morning" to good morning. Maybe I meant hood morning. Maybe some thug shit has happened today.
@abhorrent_wife: Sometimes I have my shit together, sometimes I eat an unidentified white substance out of my hair and am grateful when it's frosting.