@tonsmorecowbell: My spirit animal is a dolphin because I use sonar to make sure I'm peeing in the toilet every night.
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@prodigis: whenever a song says put your hands in the air i do it on the spot. i have fun and also an alarming vehicle collision record
@TheDreamGhoul: BRENDA: I brought cookies! ME: I guess I can have one, I've been good all week *eats cookie* *eats entire tray of cookies* *eats Brenda too*
@MelvinofYork: My wife bought me Costco underwear which I assume is the final line of defense against another woman wanting to have sex with me