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@EricBedner: My spirit animal is a tapeworm.
@Bagyants: When a computer program says "Not Responding" I start texting it stuff like "Who are you with?" and "Just heard our song"
@withanewname: [my first day as a financial investor]
"I'm going all in on this Acme Corporation. Anybody want a piece?"
@CelebrityChez: If I was a drunk superhero, I'm pretty sure I'd be "I Love You Man"
@findmydolls: *peels off yoga pants to reveal even yogier pants*
@lazerdoov: Gonna get "na na na na na na na na" tattooed on my forearm. I'll tell girls it's Hey Jude and I'll tell dudes it's the Batman theme.