@OctopusCaveman: My spirit animal is the opossum. They weren't meant to live in the suburbs but they sure figured it out.
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@er0tikka: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. I would like you to join my professional network on LinkedIn.
@NicCageMatch: Trying to take the best instagram picture ever but the kittens keep drowning in the latte.
@DarzieDAMN: If you're a girl on twitter and you have no pictures of yourself, I'm automatically assuming you're a cat that learned to use a computer.
@ElKnuckelhombre: My 7 yr. old thought it would be really funny to hold up a sign in the back window of the car that said "HELP ME!". It was not.