@CallousBalzac: My spirit animal is this 9 yo, so calm and polite during girl sleepover drama, who just told me "literally, nothing is interesting to me".
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@JarheadnBlondie: My kid just asked if 'duct tape' is short for 'abduction tape'. ... we're totally nailing this parenting thing.
@LackOfShame: I've never been as disappointed as my dog just was when she realized the food I dropped was a carrot.
@TheRolo: You guys talk about sex like it's so great. I had sex once and she made me take off my jean jacket. Just not worth it.