@CallousBalzac: My spirit animal is this 9 yo, so calm and polite during girl sleepover drama, who just told me "literally, nothing is interesting to me".
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@tastefactory: Hey pal, you wanna take this outside? *me & the guy from the bar scoop the bug up on a napkin and set it down gently on the grass in front*
@CulturedRuffian: I scream, You scream, We all scream because grandma is visiting for Christmas and she forgot her hearing aids again.
@goodtimenoel: You're all arguing about what color the dress is... While I'm having sex with the girl who took it off.