@_definitlymaybe: My spirit animal just ran into a glass door.
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@vxlk: All dates are 'blind dates.' The biological structure of fruit plants do not allow eye growth, therefore rendering them incapable of sight.
@leshnevsky: How to make a woman crazy in two steps: 1. Take a picture of her 2. Don't show her the picture
@River_Niles: A white American told me I shouldn't call myself "British" because brown people aren't native to Britain. A white American White. American.