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@NotKarma: My stages of drunk:
1) "Everybody, watch this!"
@dreamsinchocola: When I undress there is a radiant shower that falls. Not of money or glitter, but of dog hair.
@imskytrash: screw you
@GensPlace: Online dating has its good points. You can choose your own name, lie through your teeth and you can't smell their breath.
@ericsshadow: "We need a solid plan to defeat ISIS."
Galaxy Note 7: I have an idea
@tastefactory: Student begins reading poem, teacher interrupts "No this is Creative WRITHING class" Other student squirms around on floor "Very good Todd"