@gavinpivott: My standards are so high they just recorded a reggae song.
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@roostermustache: [in catholic church] Me: can i make a confession Teacher: *rips off priest mask* I DONT KNOW CAN YOU
@WilliamAder: Every year on Valentine's Day, I put a smile on my wife's face by taking down the Christmas tree.
@LoneWolfStories: Sometimes I like to surprise my neighbours by smiling and waving back at them.