@TheJamieLee: My Starbucks guy just said, "Looks like you had a rough night!" ...I didn't even go out.
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@NoogsCorner: Superwife! Gets pissed faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than your longest friendships. Leaps your decisions in a single bound.
@TheGladStork: When rapping in my car, I hold my phone to my ear so passersby think I'm on an intense business call.
@TheMichaelRock: Wife: I'll just have a salad. Waiter: and for you, sir? Me: I'll be giving her half of my food.