@JennyJohnsonHi5: My stepson and his friend are driving around in my car. If he wrecks it, I have insurance. If he plays Nickelback in it, I'll murder him.
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@rachelle_mandik: CHILD: goodnight earth, goodnight stars, goodnight orb MOM: no it's goodnight moon, honey ORB: t h i s c h i l d w i l l b e s p a r e d
@garrettbarry70: Currently helping my wife looking for her favourite vase that I threw out six months ago.
@TomSchally: For as much as they teach you "Stop, Drop, and Roll" as a kid, I really expected to be on fire at least once in my life.
@maughammom: Why is mild cheddar even a thing? Who are these people who can't handle sharp cheddar & why are they allowed to influence the cheese market?