@Arrogant_Twat: My stomach just made a really weird noise. I’m sending a pizza down to check it out.
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@collinwithtwoLs: *good cop/bad cop interrogation* *good cop is nice to the suspect* *bad cop shoots good cop and sets suspect free* man he's a bad cop
@_4kidscrazy: Me: Did you have a shirt on when you said it? Wife: I was naked, just out of the shower. Me: And you expected me to remember what you said?