@PurelyYours1: My stomach just made a really weird noise. So I'm just going to send a pizza down to check it out.
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@WheelTod: [Hospital] Me:How's my dad? Dr:I'm afraid he's in critical condition *shout from inside room "You've never lived to up to your potential!"
@ShortSleeveSuit: Vicodin: For when you absolutely have to apple scissors badger trampoline Connie seven accept substitute no steak fries
@RogueGod: After two divorces, I think I've found the key to a successful marriage. Don't marry a c**t.
@apok842: It was a sad day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe. Not even remotely.