@PurelyYours1: My stomach just made a really weird noise. So I'm just going to send a pizza down to check it out.
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@flashember: ME: Where are the posters? WIFE: THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! [In other room] *cat is furiously stuffing missing dog posters into paper shredder*
@WhatevaConc: If I see you wearing those toe shoes, I will call the police and give them your description every time a crime is reported on the news.
@AndLive2Love: My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn't want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat...