@josh___grant: My suicide notes just keep turning into grocery lists.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mexinonblonde: *crawls towards him gets between his legs and asks* What do you want? Him-Whatever you want. Me-*gets a bowl of ice cream and turns on tv*
@Bipartisanism: "Joe Biden and I are so close, some places in Indiana refuse to serve us pizza." - President Obama
@Jake_Vig: POLICE: POLICE! OPEN UP! ME: My parents never loved me. POLICE: NOT EMOTIONALLY! OPEN THE DOOR! ME: That makes way more sense.