@Steelers1972: My superpower is destroying the neighbors living room from 100 yards with nothing but her cat and my laser pointer.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: It's not enough to get up at 8 am & freeze on the soccer field. One must also scream from the sidelines so everyone knows you care.
@KalvinMacleod: [at job interview] It says here that you are very hands on. Yes, sir, I am. Can you give me an example of this? *gently caresses his face*
@KentWGraham: If you text your boss that you can’t come in and include the poop emoji, he doesn’t ask any questions.