@CaniacMONK: My superpower is getting behind the person who is obviously refinancing their mortgage at the ATM.
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@Cheeseboy22: Horse buying tip: ALWAYS ask how much horsepower a horse has. If a horse has less than one horsepower, you've got yourself a crap horse.
@NervousJr: Friend: your not going to believe this but my whole family was killed in a freak accident! Me: *you're
@dongfuture: *stops walking* Wait, I think there’s a stone in my shoe *takes off shoe, shakes it upside down* *Mick Jagger hits the ground with a thud*
@sfreeze6: [on deathbed - calls for son] ".....if you highlight the shit out of a document, people will think you read it....."