@CaniacMONK: My superpower is getting behind the person who is obviously refinancing their mortgage at the ATM.
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@BackrowSeats: Don't dwell on bad things that happened in your past. Focus on the terrible things that'll happen tomorrow.
@huntigula: Your resume just says "falconer" "And?" Well, this is a bank *falcon starts break-dancing* "Not yet Tyler, wait until he offers us the job"
@SeanEmeny: My reaction to Kit Kat prices: $1 good deal. $1.25 ok. $1.50 whoa. $1.75 what are we at the OPERA?!
@tigersgoroooar: It sucks when an album has a real chill sad song and you’re like oh yeahh and then the next song is crazy loud it makes me wanna eat knives.