@_Promaniac: My superpower is to cross the road safely and get hit by a parked car.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SwirlySkittles: Playing Tubular Bells to end the baptism wasn't quite the closing my aunt was looking for but in my defense it did clear out the church.
@SortaBad: Last month my mom asked what "af" meant and I said it meant "like REALLY something" without saying what it stood for
@NateKofiStruck: The janitor lady for my apartment building asked me out on a date & said she had some weed. I told her I'm not into high maintenance women.
@sickipediabot: I'll be honest, the only time I'd ever want to be 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians' would be if I was chasing them With an axe.