@WilliamAder: My suspicious mole cancelled my appointment with a dermatologist.
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@TEXASVETERAN: Me: I love you! Girlfriend: Is that you, or the vodka talking? Me: It's me...talking to the vodka.
@chuuew: Is it okay for men to sit down to pee? The manager of this sofa store doesn't seem to think so.
@MichaelTrying: I bought one follower just to see what it was like and he showed up at my job and his name is Eddie and he’s kind of freaking me out guys.