@Vodkantots: My tampon just leaked during my bath and now it looks like I made a tub full of passion fruit tea.
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@Sophie2078: We had a pleasant conversation about how we hate talking to people and then he said that this is a good reason for us to... Me: ... fall in love? Him: ... stop talking to each other.
@secondofhername: What is the difference between a girl and a pool table? You have a shot with a pool table.
@ExcuseMyTweets: The door is closed? I want in. The door is open? I want out. Actually I just want to sit in the door frame itself. - Pets
@junejuly12: Just heard a woman ask if she left her teeth over there Really hoping this is Halloween related