@thenatewolf: My targeted ads keep trying to sell me a new mattress. Come on, Google. Stop pretending like you don’t know exactly how much I have in the bank right now. Send me an ad for $5 footlongs or bulk rice or something.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@the_moonface: I touch myself when I think of you. It's not what you're thinking, I'm mostly scratching my head wondering what I saw in you.
@Bratterina: *leaves a trail of banana peels so you slip and fall ..... In love with me, HAHA SUCKAH.
@caithuls: [picking up a pile of things from one room] cleaning is fun! [throwing it into a room I’m in less] and Easy :)
@OhNoSheTwitnt: No thanks, haunted houses. I can walk down the street at night being terrified some man is going to jump out at me for free.