@UnicornSyrup: My teacher always hated my answers to her math questions. "If I have 6 candy bars in one hand and 7 in the other, what do I have?" Diabetes?
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@krisv_723: Oh, you asked if I had a perfect BEACH body. Now I see why you were confused when I said "Yes, I'm round, ripe & covered in fuzz."
@liberalcannon: My hobbies are scrolling through twitter, charging my phone and being generally dissatisfied with things.
@thetits: Guarantees in life: 1) death 2) taxes 3) me pulling the handle of your car door at the same moment you try to unlock it
@EJGomez: bay: come over me: no you're a broad inlet of the sea where the land curves inward bay: my parents aren't home me: how are you talking