@NoFucksWereGave: My teacher was pointing a ruler at me an said, "There's an idiot at the end of this ruler!" I got detention after asking which end.
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@notacroc: Wife: y is a penguin w an umbrella in the- Me:*points to dog dressed as batman* so Bark Wayne isnt bored W: M: he needs an arch enemy, Karen
@taitutu: Phone rang for the 1st time in 4 months. My reaction was similar to finding a dead mouse on my porch. I circled it & poked it with a stick.