@sara_ashlynn: My teen yelled at me for not waking her up for school. She's in the shower & I'm wondering when she realizes it's Sunday. This is beautiful.
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@iwearaonesie: [last night] *gets drunk* *can't remember if I fed the dog* *ends up feeding her 5 times* [tonight] *comes home* dog *hands me a beer*
@iAmDelFreaky: If I could set people on fire with a single stare, a lot of innocents would die. "Sorry sir, we are closed." FIRE! "Good morning." FIRE!