@sara_ashlynn: My teen yelled at me for not waking her up for school. She's in the shower & I'm wondering when she realizes it's Sunday. This is beautiful.
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@Moronyc: A mosquito fell into my beer five minutes ago and now he's naked and calling his ex-girlfriends and drinking my beer
@Jake_Vig: BOSS: Don't just stand there. ME: Bust a move? BOSS: What? ME: Nothing, I'll go make some copies.
@IamEveryDayPpl: "Liquor in the front, poker in the back" is not an acceptable tee shirt slogan for my church's charity poker team... I know that now.
@domesticH: wish hard enough & anything can happen, they say. yet two hours later my stomach growls & my breakfast still isn't making itself. liars!