@PeterClayton6: My testicles are in The Guinness Book of Records. Got a few minutes before the librarian sees me.
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@WilliamAder: To my followers in Florida in the path of the hurricane: Remember to keep your phone charged. These tweets don't "like" themselves.
@sickipediabot: Adele has announced that she will be singing the theme for the next James Bond film. Diet Another Day will be released in 2014.
@kwirkyKerri: Nothing says you married into the wrong damn family like your mother in-law crashing your honeymoon.