@PeterClayton6: My testicles are in The Guinness Book of Records. Got a few minutes before the librarian sees me.
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@Reverend_Scott: You see two puppies. "Awwwww!" But they're cannibal puppies! "Ahhhhhhh!" One puppy eats the other! "Ewwwww!" Then he takes a nap. "Awwwww!"
@upsidedowntrash: [first day in a new house] Me: [walking around naked] nothing like the freedom of your own home Ghost who intended to haunt me: goddamnit
@OhNoSheTwitnt: "Where do babies comes from?" Well, son, when a man and a woman love each other very much they make poor decisions.