@missmayn: My therapist asked me to list my good qualities:nnNice to everyone's facenUsually wear deodorantnThin cheese slicernnThat took four hours.
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@thatUPSdude: 50 Cent has filed for bankruptcy, he will now be known as 50. Story is he doesn't have a cent to his name. *drops the mic walks away*
@Brampersandon_: ME: *eating fast food* VEGAN GUY: You eat that stuff? ME: Yeah VG: That stuff is gonna kill you ME: *visibly annoyed* not soon enough
@BackrowSeats: Been in an accident? Know someone who's been in an accident? If not, call us & we'll come push you down the stairs or something.