@Dawn_M_: My therapist doesn't believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.
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@Sickayduh: [woman on death row] "Your last meal?" - I don't care. You pick. "Fish?" - Gross no "Steak?" - No. Anything is fine tho. "Pasta?" - Ew carbs
@JohnLyonTweets: [parent-teacher conference] Teacher: Which kid is yours? Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'?
@JediGigi: Him:You married? Me:Aww You think I'm that pretty? H:Ma'am just filling out your pape- M:SO I'M UGLY? H:I'll tell the therapist to hurry