@Dawn_M_: My therapist doesn't believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.
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@StarksWeek: "Holy shit, that guy eats a lot of pizza" -people that walk by my house on recycling day.
@bobbiejo448: I love how all the characters in kids shows are always SO thrilled while at work. Like Bob never gets pissed over a missing screwdriver.
@sammyrhodes: One of the best ways to prepare for marriage is to wait 15 minutes in your car before going anywhere.
@Carbosly: "I'm scared of thunder and vacuums but this beehive full of killer bees looks delicious." - Dogs