@Dawn_M_: My therapist doesn't believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.
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@WilliamRodgers: Dr: Smoking weed causes memory loss Me: How? Dr: It just does Me: What just does? Dr: Smoking weed causes memory loss Me: How?
@dafloydsta: [on unemployment] WIFE: So what'd you do all day? [the dog walks by dressed as a spider] ME: Looked for a job
@lovemydogduck: Starbucks really isn't that expensive when compared to what Victoria's Secret charges per cup
@mydmac: Yes I will purchase the anti-ageing cream that costs 100's of dollars because the results on those 20 year old models is just miraculous.