@Dawn_M_: My therapist doesn't believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.
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@AndrewNadeau0: GREAT WHITE SHARK: *Jumps out of water & eats seal* JUST OK WHITE SHARK: *Frantically waves flipper to try & get seaweed off but can't*
@BlakWidowBarbee: My tweets don't get the attention they used to. I've seen more stars after getting my head slammed into the headboard.
@trentistweeting: [me trying to do magic] Is this your card? "No" Is THIS your card? "Not even close" What about THIS? "Trent thats literally a piece of ham"