@Dawn_M_: My therapist doesn't believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.
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@man_spach: My Ebola outbreak brings the CDC to the yard and they're like, sir that's just irritable bowel syndrome.
@TeaAndCopy: ME: I'll see you in a month WIFE: Don't forget to write ME: It's highly unlikely I'd forget such a basic skill, Sharon
@KeetPotato: [bono dressed as magician] "think of a song any song" purple haze "right n- no, a U2 song" oh ok um.. elevation? "ok now.. check your phone"
@BossyBritches72: Dog keeps sighing melodramatically. I know he wants me to ask him what's wrong, but I'm not falling for it.